Tuesday, December 23, 2008 ; 10:42 PM
of all the requests that i may have prayed for and was answered but forgotten, this is one i wished to remember and track its teachable moments.
i didn't think i'd be able to get it since the decision pended for quite a while. but thank You for giving it to me when i least expected it. now, with another tuition job, maybe i'll be able to save up more money. God had impressed on my heart to save up and contribute to my own hall accommodation fees. and now He has provided a way for me to do just that. recently, there's so much to support and cope with, i simply cannot just leave it to mummy to provide for it all. what with grandma's latest need for medical financial support, i should be more independent. more independent than what my past experiences has already moulded me to become.
because i cannot imagine how university life would be like, from where would i get my motivation to study without hall, and how i can be happy without dancing. on top of that, my commitments in church, and to get decent academic grades. well, i just hope to be able to cope and leave it up to God to pave the way.
Sanstav Paul. a familiar name that rings a bell. he's a schoolmate back in tj. and today, as i was reviewing the entire list of requests at facebook, there is this group request: May u rest in peace, Sanstav Paul. and i found out that he died in a plane crash while training as a pilot in Arizona. i'm just so saddened by this news. 19 year old. a brilliant student with a bright future. and his life just ended so suddenly. all that he had worked so hard for had to be stopped. indeed, he died doing what he loved, that is flying. but sometimes i do wonder, what one might think and feel after his/her life has ended. because i'm sure one's consciousness don't just cut off right when the heart stops beating. because there is a soul in every body and mind which is able to transcend the physical state. satisfied because they have fulfilled all their wishes and dreams? or regret for not making decisions which might make them feel happier? and where do you go after life on earth has passed away? God promised eternal life to those who receive Him as their personal God and saviour and to become his disciple by following His ways. but what about the lukewarm Christians? where will they go? what about the babies who die at birth, who never got the chance to learn and understand spoken words, much less the gospel?
i guess God has His ways. His judgement is beyond us. which is why He is God. because we cannot put Him in a box nor understand everything about Him.
this christmas, i wish for resolutions to be fulfilled, relationships to be mended and built, and be less laidback as a person.
